Why must people be so annoying?

So this is mostly just a rant because I am so sick of seeing this shit in my feed. And before you say "Just delete the people." I already did. But now I'm pissed and I feel the desire to blog about their fucking dipshit asses.

First off, there's the people who think they need to post everything they do every second of the day.

Newsflash asshole: http://twitter.com/

Go there before I castrate you.

Second. I fucking HATE the people who constantly sit there and claim they are going to "leave Facebook" and never fucking do. GO THE FUCK AWAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

Status #1: "Fucking scene people ruined Facebook! I'm leaving."
Well good. I didn't like your whiny fucking updates anyway. Nobody actually cares that some stupid bitch in your biology class copied your hair. Guess what? You are not the original sin- get over it asshole.

Status #2: "In 48 hours I'm leaving Facebook- FOR GOOD."
Do you REALLY have to announce that? What are you looking for? A bunch of people to be like, "Oh my god noo don't leave I love you!" or "Oh no what happened are you alright?" or maybe even, "I'll leave too if you're leaving! I just love you too much to be here if you're not!"
Well guess what? I'm not going to post that. I'm going to march right up to your fucking wall and write, "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE NOW?"

Status #3: [Note that it's past 48 hours from last post] "I really am leaving Facebook. I am."
If you were actually planning to leave you'd be gone by now. You are a fucking whiny asshole and I am going to track you down and force feed you captain crunch until you explode.

Shut the fuck up.

Third, the people who post shit that is always depressing and you know it's made up because it doesn't make any sense if you actually keep track of what they say. 

Status: RIP Grandma, it's too bad you had to go so soon. You and fluffers- he was such a good dog. 

Comment #1: Oh god that's so sad. What happened? 

Comment #2: Emily I'm so sorry! That's terrible!

Emily: Well she was watering the lawn and then the house just exploded.

Comment #3: Oh no! Are you okay? Were you close to your grandma?

And then next week someone asks her how she's doing after her grandma died, and she goes, "What? My grandma didn't die..."

Fourth, the people who sit and complain about stupid first world problems.

Oh my god, my parents bought me a car but it's RED and I wanted a BLUE one! I hate them! They never listen to me!

Hey I know a few starving people in Africa that wouldn't mind a red car. They'd trade it for food but they don't care that it's red. 

My life is so bad. All my friends are jerks and my parents hate me...what's a girl to do?

Well my first suggestion to you, is to get your ugly ass off Facebook and rethink your life. Last time I checked, the perception of happiness in life is 10% what is handed to you and 90% what you do with it. Maybe instead of taking the knives life hands you and stabbing yourself in the arms- why don't you use them to cook dinner? Next suggestion, if your friends are jerks, quit whining about it and get new ones. Mean to you once, shame on them. Mean to you twice- shame on you. Mean to you three times, you're a dumbass. 

To fix your parents hating you problem, how about you look at what they do for you instead of what you feel they don't? Do you have food to eat? Yes? Shut the fuck up. Do you have clothes to wear in the morning? Yes? Shut the fuck up. You obviously have internet and very likely a cell phone that THEY pay for. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. 

My fucking chemistry teacher failed me! I can't believe this! I'm so mad!

So unless there was a mistake in entering your grades and really you aced the entire course (in which if that's the case go talk to your teacher instead of bitching), you deserved that F. You make your own grade. I'm so fucking sick of hearing a bunch of babies whining and blaming their teacher for their bad grade. Guess what? It's YOUR fault. You could have gotten help, you COULD have studied more instead of playing video games. YOU HAD A CHOICE AND YOU CHOSE WRONG. Stop blaming other people for your shitty decisions. 


I'm one of these people you mentioned and I'm fucking pissed that you think that any of the above things are my fault. You are a bitch and I hate you. 
 I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me...and I'm a bitch? D:

Tell me something I don't know.