Cookies for Fari

So yesterday my roommate Brian and I had way too much fun for our own good. See, I had promised our friend Fari we'd make her cookies, because she called my boyfriend slow, and his brother an ass. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy to see somebody had a clue. So I decided I'd make a pumpkin cookie for them, seeing as though I had a shit load of pumpkin puree in the cabinet from our neighbour Dean. I read the reviews and they were mixed, it was a black-white line of either, "THESE COOKIES SUCK." or "THESE COOKIES ARE FANTASTIC!" So I figured maybe the people who had shitty cookies were one's that couldn't bake and that I'd give it a shot anyway.

Bad Idea.

So I mixed the dough up and then I had to refrigerate it for a few hours, so I went to find cookie cutters. See, these were roll out cookies, so I needed them. Brian wanted to tag along, and that was fine with me. So we set out on an adventure...sorta. We first went to the dollar store, and found only one bag of cookie cutters shaped like flowers and a blob. Okay, as much as I love blobs, why do I need a cookie cutter shaped like one? So after no luck finding cutters there we went to Albertson's. To which we found no cookie cutters, or people who gave a fuck about helping us. This is why I don't shop there- bleh. So we walked down to Fred Meyers and looked there. I ended up giving in and buying a flower shaped cookie cutter because it had a bee cookie cutter in there too. I love bees. So I decided we'd just make scary flowers and bees...for...Halloween. Heh.

After getting home, Brian and I cut out the cookies and threw them in the oven, they smelled pretty good. I thought to myself, hahaha stupid assholes, these cookies are gonna rock. When they came out they looked golden and delicious. I decided I'd try one and see how they went. I picked up a sweet smelling, golden, crunchy cookie and took a bite. Holy shit was I wrong, those things tasted like shit. Floury dry shit. I was so pissed, I had already bought the cookie cutter and the frosting and here we were holding nasty dry cookies. Well, maybe they'd be better with frosting? No they just tasted like sugary flour now. Ugh. Stupid cookies. I just looked at Brian and he tried one, he said they tasted like animal crackers. I suppose....if you left them out for two weeks.

Since I'd already bought the stuff to make cookies I said we should just decorate them anyway. So on we went decorating them. Below are some pictures of our decorating awesomeness. I was so excited cause the box had these really wicked decorated cookies. "Mine are gonna look so fucking awesome" I said to myself. I totally rock the cookie decorating world.

Okay seriously? Why the fuck doesn't mine look like the box?

My sad bees and...leaves...

Now see, it STILL doesn't look like the box. I bet those fuckers used plastic cookies. Psh, losers.

Now Brian decorated some cookies too!!....10 points if you can guess what they are.

I told Brian he should go into cookie decorating as a career. He called his cookies "New Age", I honestly couldn't tell what they were. I didn't press the matter. 

Overall it was a pretty fun experience and we laughed, a LOT. I bet Dean probably thought we were drunk we were laughing so hard. Then to top it off, we packed the scary looking cookies up and drove them to Sept and Fari's and doorbell ditched them. Hahahaha, I made sure to leave a note saying that they were more joke cookies and they really didnt need to eat them cause honestly, they tasted like shit. Fari and Sept ate them anyway.

Oy vey.

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