Friendzoning

If one was to look up "Friendzone" on urbandictionary.com, you will find such golden nuggets as:

"The seventh level of hell, where despite all and any efforts to the contrary, no member of the opposite sex will ever see you as anything more than conversation."

"The perennial location of nice guys everywhere."

"When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, or more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do to get out without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things girls do, whether they mean it or not."

First off, 
I find it rather amusing that the idea of "friendzoning" exists in the first place. Since when does being nice a person entitle you to anything? It really pisses me off when any guy friends of mine use the term, especially when they mean it like this. 

Let me tell you a secret:
You are a presumptuous ass if you think that being decent to a woman entitles you to stick your dick inside her.  

Now, I realize that many people don't see the term "friendzoning" as necessarily that. My roommate tends to see friendzoning as merely someone- female or male- that you would always rather have as a friend than date. That definition is acceptable, although nearly 90% of the male population I've heard use the phrase does not see it as such.

Let's take a look see at definition #2-
"The perennial location of nice guys everywhere."

So now you're a self-proclaimed "nice guy." What defines nice anyway? I don't think nice is when you shower a woman with compliments and spend time with her, pretending to be her good friend in order to get into her pants. That's not being a nice guy, that's being a douche bag. 

Instead of just acknowledging the fact that maybe a girl isn't into you merely because she isn't into you, let's make up some excuse that makes her look like a bitch. Obviously she was using you- and you, poor victim, were sucked in and had no escape from her evil clutches. She then proceeded to lead you on and made you stick around. Held a fucking gun to your goddamn head.  
Only to reject you when you finally asked her out. 
It was her plan the whole fucking time. HA!

No- did you ever stop to think that maybe she doesn't want to date you because you SUCK? No that couldn't possibly be it. You're not clingy, whiny, dependent, and needy at all. She's being unreasonable in every sense of the word.

Now let's look at definition #3:
"When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, or more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do to get out without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things girls do, whether they mean it or not."

First off if you're sticking around supporting a woman that has made it clear she wants nothing to do with you in the dating department and you continue to stick around waiting on her hand and foot- that sounds like YOUR problem. Unless you enjoy just being a friend, which in reality, is not a bad thing anyway. You obviously didn't care about the friendship in the first place if you can't just enjoy having that after being told it wont progress further. I realize that rejection is hard, but don't make it out to be something it's not. If you don't like just being friends then don't be her fucking friend. Stop bitching about it while continuing to do it. That's just idiotic. 

 Also, I'd like to point out that every single definition I read on urban dictionary involved girls doing the friendzoning. I find that so amusing it's insane. 

I have had so many of my girls become friends with guys and then want to date them. The guy decides that:
a) She's not his type.
b) She's too fat/skinny/flat-chested/whatever to be his girlfriend.
c) He'd rather just stay friends.
d) He just isn't fucking attracted to her.

I don't ever have them come to me and say,
"Oh. My. God. I finally talked to Jake today and I expressed my feelings for him. He fucking friendzoned me. Now I have to stick around and continue to support him while he finds a thinner, more empty-headed girlfriend that laughs at all his jokes."

no- they don't fucking say that.
they say, "Yeah I asked Jake out and he said no. His loss." 
 Why is it such a thing to make up dumbass excuses about why a girl won't date you? You were probably pursuing somebody that wasn't going to work in the first place. I've noticed a lot of times people do that and then wonder why the person they were after doesn't want to date them. Hm, big surprise. 

If you are introverted, shy, intimidated by people, and don't enjoy going out into social situations, don't pursue a fucking socialite and then get angry when she doesn't really feel like it's going to work out. 

Stop chasing people that are busy-bodies and like to be outdoors all the time, hiking, fishing, running, and being active if all you like to do is sit inside your man cave and eat cheetohs. 

Not to say this is always the case, sometimes relationships can happen under these circumstances-

Usually not though, seeing as though normally you have to have something in common to enjoy each other's company.   


 and most importantly:
Stop texting your friends (especially friends of the female variety) about being fucking friendzoned. I can almost guarantee they do not want to hear it, especially when they know you do suck. :)