Cholla Showdown: Fruity Pebbles and the Cart Game

I was on my way to Winco when my friend texted me, asking if I could pick him up some cereal. I asked him what kind he would like, to which he replied,

Fruity Pebbles.

Little did I fucking know these fruity colorful crisps would get me into a throw down with a cholla at Winco. 

Fast forward to when I was browsing the store, picking up my groceries, when I came to the cereal aisle. There was a girl standing in the aisle with her cart parked right in front of the cereal I was supposed to pick up. She was browsing the selection herself so I politely waited. 

...and waited.

....and waited.

...and waited.

I wasn't necessarily in a huge hurry, but I wanted to get in and out and home. I walked up while she was on her phone texting and made my presence known.

"Hey there, you think I could sneak by you and grab a box of cereal?"

She looks at me and kind of leans forward and says, "Sure, you can as soon as I'm done." and goes back to texting. I was a little taken aback. I mean why can't you just move your fucking cart for three seconds so I can grab a box of cereal?

I continued standing there for a good three minutes watching her text and refuse to move her cart. I finally just walked forward and tried to lean over her cart to grab the box of cereal I was after. 

THE BITCH FUCKING SLAPPED MY HAND.

SHE FUCKING DID IT.

JUST REACHED ON OUT THERE AND SLAPPED IT.

WHAT THE FUCK WHO DOES THAT?

I JUST WANTED SOME GODDAMN CEREAL YOU WHORE.

"I said you can wait until I'm finished. Fucking rude." she said.

You know I realize that Fruity Pebbles isn't necessarily the healthiest cereal available and it's probably best my friend didn't eat it, but that is no reason to slap me. I should not be punished for my friend's bad eating habits.

Really, I just lost it. I lost all nerve and that little bitch switch in my head clicked into the "on" position. I said, "Fine. I can wait." and I reached out and scraped as many boxes of cereal as I could off the shelf into her cart and walked away. All I heard was, "Ohh my hells you bitch!" as I turned the corner. I didn't even want the cereal anymore,

but I was determined to make her sorry for not letting me have it.

I waited around the corner as she turned to go the other direction through the store. I walked behind her, making sure she didn't know I was following her. She pulled into the shampoo aisle and parked her cart at one end because there were multiple people parked in the aisle. She went to the far end and began picking out the perfect soap- hopefully to wash the bitch off. 

I noticed her cart was devoid of all cereal particles. It was near barren, how sad. I watched her sniff soaps from around her cart and I once again stuck out my hand and knocked multiple things into her cart. Most of the toothpaste and condom variety. I then walked around the aisle and waited on the cashier side. 

"What the HELL, bitch!" 

I heard the items clunk onto the floor one by one as she emptied her cart again. I was not done yet. She walked right past me fuming and storming to the bakery goods. I watched her park her cart by the stands of muffins and she walked around the stand to grab some bagels. I walked towards her cart and grabbed as many loaves of that nasty white bread off the display as I could. I walked over and put it in her cart and I walked away into the wine aisle. I watched her walk back to her cart and her reaction was priceless. 

She threw her bagles into the cart and screamed a nice yelp of frustration. At this point multiple onlookers had begun to focus on her. She yelled about a bitch and white bread, which could easily have been taken as a racial slur. She then threw the white bread on the floor and threw up her hands. Everyone else had a confused look of, "Why did she get all that white bread if she was going to get angry about it?"

She then walked off towards the frozen foods, and I decided I had to fuck with her ONE more time. I know I could have just left it at one and she might have learned her lesson. I know, I'm immature, blah blah blah. I went to the cereal aisle and grabbed like six boxes of Fruity Pebbles off the shelf. I walked towards the frozen foods and saw her looking at sour cream. Her cart was parked beside her on the other side of the aisle since she was looking at an endcap of the aisle. I walked around the back side and right as I was about to put the cereal in she walked around the corner to find me getting ready to drop it. I froze and she stared at me. I looked her in the eyes and basically acted like I was going to take the cereal back. I leaned back up and went to turn and walk away. 

Then I fucking threw the cereal in her cart and ran away screaming and laughing. I didn't even buy anything. I had ditched my little handcart of shit a long time ago to fuck with her and ran out of the store laughing so hard I could hardly breathe. I got to my car and continued to laugh so hard I was crying. 

**Note, it says Cholla in the title, which I realize is totally racist and inappropriate, but she was of Latina decent and was in a sorority. I'm not trying to stereotype anybody or be racist, I just thought it was funny that when I told this story some of my friends classified her as a Cholla, or Latina lady gangster, essentially. Not trying to be racist at all. JUST THROWIN' THAT OUT THERE.