Pandora['s box of unrelated music]

I am pretty sure that many of you know what Pandora is. If you don't, then I'm sorry you're not going to understand what I'm talking about.

[Just kidding I'm not a bitch.]

I lied, I am, but for the sake of people who read this blog, I will tell you what it is.

So Pandora is this online music radio station... thing. My friend introduced it to me and after reading about it, it sounded pretty good. I mean, putting in an artist you like, which in theory will bring up other bands you like because of their strikingly similarity; it's pretty ingenious.

You put in Aerosmith, and theoretically should get bands like Alice in Chains, AC/DC, or similar bands. Correct?

That's what those bitches want you to think.

 So I gave it a shot, because I was sick of listening to Itunes play the same songs over and over even though I had it set to random with my whole library of 16 days worth of music to choose from....

Sorry, tangent.

So I get on, and type in:

"Adam Lambert"

Alright, the first song is, as expected, Adam Lambert! Alright this station is pretty kick ass, yeah Pandora rocks! Woo brainwashing!

Wait what?

So then I listen to the Adam Lambert song, and all is fine and dandy. The next song on the list, is Judas by Lady Gaga. 

They're similar enough that I'm alright with it. I mean I don't associate Adam Lambert with Gaga, but I am sure in the music world they are close enough to make it onto the same Pandora station without colliding into a massive black hole. So far, so good. This is when I had to go pee.

Shut up, everyone does it. You're NOT exempt. Unless you're some sick freakish robot that doesn't have bodily functions. In that case, welcome to my blog- have a cookie.

I came back and there was some weird freakish music I'd never heard before playing. I was like, alright, obviously just a band I've never heard of. I get on and look at who this obnoxious woman was...

Nicki Minaj.

Who the HELL is she? *googles*

Oh hell no.

She's not even close to Adam Lambert! WHY ARE YOU ON MY ADAM LAMBERT STATION YOU WENCH?

This is why I assume Pandora created this wonderful skip button. Not only that, but Pandora has "This shit makes my baby cry" button. Symbolized ever so creatively with a thumbs down icon. 

I figured it would be disrespectful to not utilize all the tools Pandora had provided me, so I clicked it. A message popped up from Pandora: One of caring and respect. 

[Paraphrased]

"We're terribly sorry that we suck at picking music that's similar to what you wanted. We promise we wont play this song ever, ever, ever again as long as we feel like it."  

Well that seems just nice.  How awesome of them to do that. :) 

The next song comes up. It's Lupe Fiasco "The Show Goes On."

What the HELL. I don't understand. How are these artists similar to Adam Lambert....unless..


Oh no. Adam Lambert is a rapper? Adam why didn't you tell me. :(


I FEEL SO BETRAYED. DINNER IS SOOO OFF. 

Yeah and just for your information Adam...

We're over.